This is like the defining case of “just because it’s legal doesn’t make it okay.” An 18 year old and a 16 year old is one thing. It’s very different when it’s a 30-something year old and a 16 year old. That’s like a high school senior trying to get with a 12 year old.
There’s a massive power imbalance in a relationship like that where the 30-something has basically total control. Even a 30-something with a college kid has issues imo, let alone a kid who’s a sophomore or junior in high school. That’s some Quamire from Family Guy shit. “I love high school girls. I get older, they stay the same age.”
Half your age plus seven is the rule of thumb that I’ve heard. At 18, that means the lowest you should be dating is 16. At 32, it’s 23. Etc.
Also, echo chambers are good, actually, and you can’t change my mind. Life isn’t supposed to be a constant argument, and the criticism of surrounding yourself with people who generally agree with you is a tactic that’s been used to prevent people from simply cutting toxicity out on social media platforms.
Plus there are some things unworthy of argument. The existence of trans people, not an argument. Fucking a 16 year old as a grown adult is fucked up, not an argument. Holders of these anti-truths are just bad people covering their own failings
There’s a massive power imbalance in a relationship like that where the 30-something has basically total control.
I’ll not agree and say it depends on the two people. It might also not be a relationship and just a one time sex thing, or other. But I’ll agree that it doesn’t sound good in general, but it’s pretty common and doesn’t always end badly.
Half your age plus seven is the rule of thumb that I’ve heard. At 18, that means the lowest you should be dating is 16. At 32, it’s 23. Etc.
I know this rule and I find it too restrictive at specific ages, and generalizing something that can’t be only related to age. It all depends on the personality and maturity of the 2.
My take: being attracted to minors when 23+ isn’t fine and pretty disgusting (when the main goal is sex or similar), but if the people talk a lot and learn about each other, then falling in love isn’t so disgusting and is understandable, although the adult should really pay attention to how they behave and should avoid any hierarchy
It’s just your POV. I’d say that pedophile refers to children, and I don’t consider a 16yo person to be a child. Some can be mature enough, although it might be rare and should be handled case by case, instead of making a stupid generalization.
Jesus Christ. No they cannot. She isn’t mature for her age, your just a pedophile making excuses to justify your attraction. That makes you a predator. Ew
Sure. You know better than everyone. Congrats. Doesn’t have to be a “her” btw…
Funny that I got called a pedophile as well when I was a minor. Fun times. Being with someone way older isn’t always bound to end badly, provided the adult isn’t a bad person (which isn’t easy in the world we live in) and that both understand the risks and adopt the right posture.
I also know other people who have been in a similar situation. Sometimes it went okay, sometimes not.
I tend to think that 16yo is fine so idc, they do their things
However I still think Disrespect is a moron (for other reasons)
Going to get downvoted but I’m making my part by de-echo chamberifying lemmy
This is like the defining case of “just because it’s legal doesn’t make it okay.” An 18 year old and a 16 year old is one thing. It’s very different when it’s a 30-something year old and a 16 year old. That’s like a high school senior trying to get with a 12 year old.
There’s a massive power imbalance in a relationship like that where the 30-something has basically total control. Even a 30-something with a college kid has issues imo, let alone a kid who’s a sophomore or junior in high school. That’s some Quamire from Family Guy shit. “I love high school girls. I get older, they stay the same age.”
Half your age plus seven is the rule of thumb that I’ve heard. At 18, that means the lowest you should be dating is 16. At 32, it’s 23. Etc.
Also, echo chambers are good, actually, and you can’t change my mind. Life isn’t supposed to be a constant argument, and the criticism of surrounding yourself with people who generally agree with you is a tactic that’s been used to prevent people from simply cutting toxicity out on social media platforms.
Plus there are some things unworthy of argument. The existence of trans people, not an argument. Fucking a 16 year old as a grown adult is fucked up, not an argument. Holders of these anti-truths are just bad people covering their own failings
I know.
I’ll not agree and say it depends on the two people. It might also not be a relationship and just a one time sex thing, or other. But I’ll agree that it doesn’t sound good in general, but it’s pretty common and doesn’t always end badly.
I know this rule and I find it too restrictive at specific ages, and generalizing something that can’t be only related to age. It all depends on the personality and maturity of the 2.
My take: being attracted to minors when 23+ isn’t fine and pretty disgusting (when the main goal is sex or similar), but if the people talk a lot and learn about each other, then falling in love isn’t so disgusting and is understandable, although the adult should really pay attention to how they behave and should avoid any hierarchy
DE ECHO CHAMBER LEMMY VIA COMING OUT AS A PEDOPHILE YOURSELF. WHAT A TAKE.
ew
Not enough pedophiles here 😔It’s just your POV. I’d say that pedophile refers to children, and I don’t consider a 16yo person to be a child. Some can be mature enough, although it might be rare and should be handled case by case, instead of making a stupid generalization.
Jesus Christ. No they cannot. She isn’t mature for her age, your just a pedophile making excuses to justify your attraction. That makes you a predator. Ew
Sure. You know better than everyone. Congrats. Doesn’t have to be a “her” btw…
Funny that I got called a pedophile as well when I was a minor. Fun times. Being with someone way older isn’t always bound to end badly, provided the adult isn’t a bad person (which isn’t easy in the world we live in) and that both understand the risks and adopt the right posture.
I also know other people who have been in a similar situation. Sometimes it went okay, sometimes not.
“I am a multi gender focused predator”
Ew.