This just makes me sad because I spent more than a decade trying to be patient and kind with her crazy level 10 where me trying to separate during an argument by leaving the apartment would result in her trying to trap me in the apartment, physically restrain me from leaving, saying I never loved her, threats of suicide and trying to make me watch her self-harm or listen/watch to a suicide attempt (once I made it out the door I would have endless phone calls with nothing but the sound of her smashing up the apartment and saying she was busy trying to kill herself). The final straw was her trying to kill herself with my cancer medication, it felt like she was trying to kill both of us.
I spend every day feeling like I wasn’t strong enough and I failed her. I feel like I gave my life to her and I failed her and my life isn’t worth anything now.
This sounds like Borderline Personality Disorder. My ex did the same exact stuff. There are a lot of books about it. “I hate you, don’t leave me” is a really great book to read. Helped me out a lot with my ex.
I appreciate you trying to empathize, but please stop medicalizing shitty behavior. It doesn’t matter that you were somewhat correct.
“Medicalizing shitty behavior”? What exactly would be the alternative? If we don’t categorize it then how else would we find a community of people to get help. These kind of thought process disorders not only destroy the lives of those who have it but also the ones around them. It’s more of a start so people can move forward with figuring things out. “Brain Energy” actually helped me out the most with understanding these “shitty behaviors”. These people are fucked in my opinion because they don’t think they need help. Unless they are low functioning. The best thing to do is keep your distance or get away completely.
I know people who have bpd and bipolar disorders. There’s a distinct possibility that I do too. Do you know what I don’t do? Abuse people. That’s why it’s a problem to claim every shitty thing is due to a mental illness. It’s best to condemn the behavior instead of trying to justify it.
