612 years in the past
In Brazil. So almost a century before the first europeans landed here. I’m assuming I just plop exactly in my relative earth-location, but in the distant past. (… It would be really funny if this was overly literal, because I’m currently in the 12th floor, so I’d thanos snap into the past and immediately fall to my death)

Well

As a person from modern times – From AFTER the Americas came into contact with Europe, if I went near a person here in the Land of Palms (that’s what the natives called Brazil!) from those times we’d both get horribly infected and die a lot due to how antibodies work. Viruses did a lot of the legwork in genociding the natives. Euros would deliberately do things to infect natives so they’d die of illness.

The place I currently live in is slowly turning into a desert, but was a deep jungle back then (… It was still a deep jungle in the 1910s tbqh).

… I think I’d just die? Become food for a jaguar or eat a poisonous fungus or sth.

Would love to indulge in the fantasy of giving the Guarani people guns and a warning to shoot white people on sight just to see how history would change, but that ain’t happening.

If you’re looking for a rational argument for the big party or the religious ceremony or anything like that – You won’t find it. These things are meant to play to the emotional, and this isn’t a flaw, it’s the whole point. People really need to embrace that we are, in fact, very emotional creatures, and that this is not a bad thing, and that yes, a lot of the things we do are done just for the emotional satisfaction of it. Because it’s fun, because it will make you or someone you care about happy.

If neither you nor your partner give two shits about big parties or ceremonies, then neither of you needs to bother. If said partner does want this and you don’t, then y’know, maybe have a good chat about that and find a compromise. That’s how partnerships work. (Me personally I’d love to organise my own wedding and go all quirky with it, but I can live without it)

Being legally married is a separate thing, and is inexpensive in most countries (just a small fee so the bureaucrats can process the bureaucracy), and at least in my country is often done weeks if not months in advance of the big party and/or religious ceremony, with the couple already being legally married while they organise their wedding stuff. To be legally married is to have you and your partner recognised by The State ™ as being a family unit. This has uses for a few situations in life.

If it’s anything to ya, Gaius Julius Caesar saw a statue of Alexander the Great and had an emotional breakdown – Alexander the Great had conquered “the entire world” (or, well, the world as ancient greeks understood it) in his 20s and Caesar was 30 going on 40, and he was “just” a Roman General. – He eventually did scorch his name into the annals of history, but he was over 45 when he did.

And like. We don’t need to be Julius Caesar or JRR Tolkienn. It is more than enough if by the age they became legends you have figured yourself out just enough to be living instead of surviving, especially if, unlike them, you didn’t get a head start by having rich parents. :P

World War 1 was a pretty shit time to be alive. Sure, his family had dosh, which probably protected him a bit.

… But when the world is going to shit (and it HAS gone to shit, many times before), it goes to shit universally.

After WW1 there was the Great Depression and a lot of people (including plenty of old money folks) lost their everything. – And right after that there were the Nazis. Y’know, the original Nazis, the ones that the current US government is trying to imitate. They seem to respawn whenever a capitalist nation is in crisis, I’m sure that’s just a coincidence.

Do not fall into the trap of “the good old days” because that is, ironically, how fascists get you. The past was awful, in different ways but awful.

But by that time he was a university professor… And had fought in the Great War.

Removed by mod

I’d have to relearn a bunch of shit.

Don’t feel up to it. I’m so used to my setup.

Even using SteamOS (“Arch but we modded it to be sorta kinda like an immutable distro but not really”) miffs me more than it should.

Because Gerontocracy is the true law of the land, and is older than both capitalism and feudalism.

… It might have been kickboxing. I was half remembering him being some kind of sport-fighter.

Yeah before he was a Youth Pastor for the Church Of Misogyny (where jesus is replaced with EVEN MORE MISOGYNY) – He made his name as a competitive MMA fighter.

Yeah there is plenty to hate about Catholics too (hey, pedophilia) –

– But when it comes to like. Accepting reality and modernity? They are head, shoulders, and pectorals above the average Evangelical Church.

What

Maybe it would have been interesting if it did happen… But even if SoJ really had intended for that to be the name and STI didn’t simply mistranslate it when they picked up the project – The name would have never made it to the western version of Sonic 2 either way. It’d be changed.

Sega was dragged out in front of US Congress because they published a game where goofy-ass FMV goons stalk some ladies trying to use syringes on them. Imagine if the actual word “GENOCIDE” appeared in their flagship game for that same year. Video games in the early nineties were very much seen as being for kids and only kids.

The pearl clutching would have reached such a level that I’m fairly sure video games would still be illegal in the US of A almost 40 years on.

We do not talk about

Zones belong in Sonic games and nowhere else.

(I’m joking btw)

Only sickos don’t use their blinkers

From the Steamed Clams we’re having. Mmmmmmm, Steamed Clams!

Drink water until your piss is crystal clear and you’ll be doing 10 or more graves per day.

Pee on Kissinger’s grave?