Kraft singles have a rather low melting point. I feel like, regardless of whether they take it or not, one warm day while it’s in the back of a mail truck somewhere would cause it to liquefy and escape the weird cheese condom.

Yeah, the actual fork bit of 2 is nice but I don’t like utensils with dump truck ass; they’re top heavy when in use.

Yeah, Jobs is admittedly an imperfect comparison because Trump doesn’t seem the type to try and combat cancer with fruit salad and good vibes (that seems like more of an RFK thing if any of them). I could, however, absolutely see Trump firing any doctor who dared suggest major lifestyle changes or anything like that until he ends up with some quack who will happily tell him whatever he wants to hear as long as the check clears. Shitcanning anyone who has the audacity to try to be the adult in the room and replacing them with whatever sycophant chortles his balls with the most enthusiasm is like half his personality. That’s gonna be a major fucking hindrance to anyone who’s job would involve at least occasionally giving him bad news.

So did Steve Jobs.

All the medical expertise in the world mean jack dick if one is too much of an egomaniacal jackass to admit that the doctors may, in fact, know better than you.

Should we put all our eggs in that basket? Absolutely the fuck not, but it does still bear noting.

Oh hey, someone else is still immediately reminded of Mission Hill everytime they hear something referred to as kafkaesque.

Greenland Landscaping and Garden Center

And when you couldn’t find one?

I hope Sesame Street just goes all in, owns this, and has Bert and Ernie get married already. They haven’t done a wedding since Maria and Luis in the 80s and we all know those two are banging.

What’s the difference between an A10 and an F47?

One’s named after an ugly, foul-smelling pig and the other is a Warthog.

Here’s hoping buddy goes and gets himself Ramsay Bolton’d