Now you just need a gunpowder powered pulley system that whips your massive dong out of your fly after the motorized zipper opens your pants.

You’re my favorite writer. Happy to see you’re still alive!

They still have the McRib in Taiwan

TIL Grimace is supposed to be a taste bud

I didn’t read what you said but I like it, everyone gets a license plate on bluesky.

CPU = Chief Party Unicorn

No, that’s lightly colored blood. Mostly on toilet paper. We’re looking for dark red blood here.

No, you’re being facetious. Go sit in the corner.

Absolutely not, we’re talking about a man who serves fast food to athletes.

Needless to say, you helpt him junk the computers and then you made banana bread together.

Thank you for your service

It was really strange to see some old comments I made in another language translated in English.

It’s because: “this time it’s different”

Zero points for me. I once wrote a cheque to pay my outstanding fee at my local video rental place (I was returning Time Cop) And then later I got home and sent my father a fax of younger brother’s foot and shoe size so he could buy some shoes for him while abroad on a business trip. I specifically remember that day because I rented Four Weddings and a Funeral which had just come out on VHS. This was probably 1994 or 1995. Now I feel old as fuck.

Your hair might become thinner but you wouldn’t necessarily go bald. My grandfather had a full head of hair when he passed away at 79. I don’t think his primary sex hormone was estrogen.

The moment you figure out where your poop is supposed to go, you’ll get a promotion. I guarantee it.

How many parts of you do I need to replace before you become someone else?

Hey buddy, I’ve had enough of you and your sensible opinions. Meet me in the parking lot of the Wallgreens on the corner of Coursey and Jones Creek in Baton Rouge on april 7th at 10 p.m. We’re going to fight to the death, no holds barred, shopping cart combos allowed, pistols only, no scope 360, tag team style, entourage allowed.

“Yes, but only if they bring bacon. Also, narwals?! Oh and look at my spork, lol!”

Also the 4 guy has a podcast and a social media presence and thousands of followers who are willing to back up his idiotic claims and silence anyone who disagrees.