This is why pelicans are no longer allowed at the all you can eat buffet.

I definitely make dramatic sound effects when playing with my cat.

So let’s do it like they do on the discovery channel!

HELLO. YOU’VE BEEN SELECTED AS…(raspy trucker voice) “Da next Pope”…PRESS 1 TO ACCEPT. PRESS 2 TO SPEAK TO A CARDINAL.

Step 1: Put it in wrong. Step 2: Put it in…wrong!?
Step 3: Magically it works.

I think if you sold off your stock before it became public information you’d be in deep poopie doopie.

For the last time I don’t want Jenna Haze shower curtains!!!

Bro I SSH directly into the jpg using Microsoft Paint.

SOUND THE ALARM! Pirate stock is blasting out of the freakin GALAXY!

Eat the food Tina! -Napoleon Pakistan maybe

Goose operative commander here. This is an advanced combat team involving a spotter and a shooter, likely attempting to gain a full loaf of bread.

There are over five million Americans who won’t get a handjob tonight. Please consider donating.

Could you please sing the entire score of the HMS Pinafore?

It has some bubba le grand.

I miss watching snail skate videos.

75% of the time it satisfies every time.

We have the slipperiest robot people around. Fuchs. Lube yo bots and yo bros.

“Potter! How would I roll a blunt with the stickiest of the icky?” Professor Snape asked smoothly.

BEEP. ENTER NUMBER OF SINS. DISPENSING HOLY WATER AT 50 GALLONS PER SECOND.

Some guy REALLY didn’t know how much spaghetti to make for four people.